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Weather humor from our log cabin in Michigan


Temperature Conversion Chart

@ +70 degrees
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Mich go swimming in the rivers.

@ +60 degrees
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Mich plant gardens.

@ +50 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Mich sunbathe.

@ +40 degrees
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Mich drive with the windows down.

@ +32 degrees
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Erie water gets thicker.

@ +20 degrees
Floridians put on coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
People in Mich throw on a flannel shirt.

@ +15 degrees
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Mich have the last cookout before it gets cold.

@ +10 degrees
People in Miami all die.
Michiganders lick the flagpole.

@ 0 degrees
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Mich get out their winter coats.

@ -10 degrees
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Mich are selling cookies door to door.

@ -25 degrees
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic .
Mich Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

@ -30 degrees
Mount St. Helen's freezes.
People in Mich rent some videos.

@ -40 degrees
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

@ -45 degrees
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Mich complain about farmers with cold hands.

@ -60 degrees
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Mich start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

@ -100 degrees
Hell freezes over.
The Lions win the Super Bowl!

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Comment by Gail & Robert on January 27, 2009 at 2:40pm
I've BEEN in Michigan when it was that cold. OUCH! You can have it. Though I'd much rather have the snow than the ICE we are getting in NE Oklahoma right now.
Comment by Dave and Julie Christiansen on January 24, 2009 at 2:37am
I know what Anne and Cj are talking about. We use to live in Northern Japan where the average snow was 3 feet deep on the ground all winter long. The kids played in it during recess. The school was only closed once during our three year stay. That was when it snowed 4 feet overnight. When we moved to Langley AFB, Va. they did close the schools when the word "SNOW" was mentioned as a possibility. We had to laugh at that. Dave
Comment by Shelley Martinez on January 20, 2009 at 10:57pm
Joe - I am still laughing at your comment. I'll probably still be laughing about it tomorrow.
Comment by Joe on January 20, 2009 at 9:46pm
Well, let me tell you that down here in Sarasota, Fl. they are saying we might get snow flurries tomorrow night and frozen orange juice right off the trees so I'm injecting vodka in mine tonight before it's too late. We are nice and warm though because I'm playing my fireplace DVD on the TV tonight and have a hair dryer blowing at us. Reminds me of my years in Michigan except the white stuff blowing is sand.

Joe
Comment by Kelly on January 20, 2009 at 8:58pm
Shelley,

I am ready for spring also. I can share some our snow here in NY. We have alot!
We have big snow drifts too!

Kelly
Comment by CJ from Va. on January 20, 2009 at 8:40pm
Anne, as I was reading what you have written, I was laughing so hard, the same here in Portsmouth as Norfolk. Schools were closed, as I know from first hand, another teacher called me this morning at 6:00 - No School Today. Waited for the snow, might have saw a flurry or two and that was it. Grocery store shelves were empty. Remember the two blizzards we had back in the l980's. Now that was what they call snow. CJ from VA.
Comment by Alan Ligertwood on January 20, 2009 at 5:46pm
LoL :)

we are gettin a little snow in Scotland at the moment too... hope we get lots more .... :)

and I might post some new snowy pics ..when I get some ..
take care in all that snow ..spring will be here soon enough .
Comment by Shelley Martinez on January 20, 2009 at 4:28pm
Chinker Bob - never heard that folk song before - thank you for sharing it! Funny!

Anne - I can't see over our snow drifts! I'm ready for spring!!!
Comment by Anne on January 20, 2009 at 4:13pm
Thanks Shelly and ChinkerBob!
Those are great.

Shelly - I thought about you and all the snow you have. Here in Norfolk, VA there was a chance of an inch or so of snow so all the schools and offices were closed. That's right - just a chance of snow. We have not even had one flurry and the kids are home from school. We southerners go into full panic mode at the mention of snow.
Have fun in all your cold weather!
Anne
Comment by ChinkerBob on January 19, 2009 at 11:14pm
Funny stuff. This reminds me of the popular folk song we have here in Montana. I can't hum it, but here are the words:

The Frozen Logger

As I set down one evening in a timber town cafe
A six foot-seven waitress, to me these words did say
"I see you are a logger and not a common bum
For no one but a logger stirs his coffee with his thumb

"My lover was a logger, there's none like him today
If you'd sprinkle whisky on it, he'd eat a bale of hay
He never shaved the whiskers from off his horny hide
But he'd pound 'em in with a hammer, then bite 'em off inside

"My lover came to see me one freezing winter day
He held me in a fond embrace that broke three vertebrae
He kissed me when we parted so hard it broke my jaw
And I could not speak to tell him he'd forgot his mackinaw

"I watched my logger lover going through the snow
A-sauntering gaily homeward at forty eight below
The weather tried to freeze him, it tried its level best
At a hundred degrees below zero, he buttoned up his vest

"It froze clean down to China, it froze to the stars above
At one thousand degrees below zero it froze my logger love
They tried in vain to thaw him and if you'll believe me, sir
They made him into axe blades to chop the Douglas fir

"That's how I lost my lover and to this caffay I come
And here I wait till someone stirs his coffee with his thumb
And then I tell my story of my love they could not thaw
Who kissed me when we parted so hard he broke my jaw"

(words and music by James Stevens, 1951)

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