Do I let my girls decorate their own rooms?

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Permalink Reply by Anne on August 17, 2008 at 7:34am

Hi Marla! If this is going to be your primary residence, it's probably important for girls that age to have some area to call their own. I totally understand your desire to have everything in a new home look perfect, though. Maybe you could use the same color schemes and/or Arts and Crafts furniture and lighting fixtures and allow the girls to add their own personal decorative touches -(bedding, personal pictures, pillows, a fun chair...). Or maybe just the same color schemes and the girls can choose their own furniture. In my experience with a 16 year old daughter, girls have a way of making their own spaces with knick-knacks, pictures and other items they collect. It's great that they have their own living level. That does give you the option of allowing for their own style. Since our cabin is a second home and we anticipate having guests that may need to use her room, my daughter did not have decorative input. However, her room at home is multiple shades of purple and we employ the "closed door" method often! Good luck during this exciting time! Anne

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Permalink Reply by Donna Peak on August 18, 2008 at 11:04am

I say to let them make their rooms their own--within reasonable boundaries. As the mother of a headstrong (and redheaded) 3-year-old, I try to let her have calculated choices. (She's already starting to exhibit signs that she wants to command her own space.) I present her with options and let her choose. She feels satisfied and I keep at least a little bit of control. Now your kids are a lot older and likely have stronger opinions, but as much as you want your entire home to be a reflection of your personality, kids feel the same way about their rooms. It's their domain. Let them take some ownership of it.

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Permalink Reply by Marla on August 19, 2008 at 10:27pm

Thanks to all of you for your replies :-)

So far negotiations are going well, paint colors selected are suitable, lighting fixtures will be personal choice ( within reason) and there are 3 wish lists to be pared down.

Donna - Good Luck with that redhead ! You probably won't ever have to worry about her being bullied or taken advantage of. I have one myself, she's 15 and has always been strong-willed.

Marla

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Permalink Reply by Donna Peak on August 19, 2008 at 10:36pm

I'm glad negotiations are going well. And thanks for your redheaded support (and for feeling both my pain and my joy). Let us see photos of what they came up with when you're done!

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Permalink Reply by Mitch & Rene Jones on August 21, 2008 at 12:40am

Marla,
I have 4 children and when they were younger they shared rooms, but when they got older we built a bigger home and they were blessed to have their own rooms. Well, when the girls decided they wanted to pickout and paint their own rooms I said ok, but I get to help and I had to ok their final color choices. I also had 1 very strong rule "No Black Paint". One thing I realized with this freedom I gave them, was that they had ideas stored away that they had learned from doing crafts with me, that they used in their rooms. It turned out that I learned a lot from my girls about designing and when people came over and wanted to see our new home they commented about how beautiful our daughters rooms were. So, if your girls see that they have some freedom, but they also have your guidence it can be a rewarding experience for all. My girls are grown now and the 2 oldest have homes of their own and my youngest daughter is in college, but when she is at home she has her own room. Which she decorated very well.
Good luck,
Rene

PS. I also have a redhead!

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